The Evolution of Romance

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The way to a man’s heart is said to be through his stomach, and back in days when the next meal was an uncertainty, it probably had a similar effect on the fellow’s intended sweetheart, too.

Bash, grab and kiss have been our image of caveman romance, but undoubtedly there was quite a bit more to it than that. After all, it’s hard to get mushy over a guy who has just raised a goose egg on your head.

While dragging back a haunch of mammoth or a prime cut of musk ox might not seem the best way to us to win a lady’s heart, it probably worked well for Paleolithic man.

Were Cavemen Inspired By Spiders?

It’s not hard to imagine some sturdy hunter pining over the rejection the loveliest lady in the tribe handed him. Perhaps sitting wondering how he might succeed, he caught sight of a spider offering a fly to the female in the web.

 

Besides offering a tasty tidbit to his potential mate, the spider might have added a lively dance to demonstrate his agility (and probably to distract the often intractable lady spider from eating him). However, perhaps the arachnid battle was won, and our lonely caveman left with some good ideas to improve his chances, although he probably didn’t have to worry about the light of his life eating him!

Flowers and Sweet Talk

While the mammoth roast will certainly be appreciated, the more delicate side of any cavelady must be appealed to as well as the practical, especially when game is plentiful. Keeping the smooth-talking guy in the next cave from making romantic moves on that scantily clad beauty might not be a difficult as our primitive suitor might think if he just grabs a couple of handfuls of wild flowers to delight her and get his message of love across.

A hint from our feathered friends might also help our hero along the way, too. Songs seem to come from the heart and when they’re directed at a female, it will be hard for her to resist swooning.

Whether he started out with imitation bird calls or went right to a warble of his own composition is irrelevant; the main thing is that all these actions—food, flowers and song—contributed to the evolution of romance, and they can still help a modern caveguy win his cavegal even today.

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Pat Cavemen

PAT is the clueless flirt. Hey, every tribe needs one, right? She also enjoys swimming, fishing, eating and taking long romantic walks on the prehistoric beach.

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